The year of Kelly

To reference the television show Seinfeld and it’s character George Costanza’s ‘Summer of George,’ this is the year of me. Hopefully I don’t have the bad luck George did. I know this sounds cheesy, but hear me out.

Over the last few years I’ve been through a lot. I’ve had stays in mental hospitals because I had been misdiagnosed and put on the wrong medications, stays in drug rehab after getting addicted to pain medication after surgery and several relapses, and in a four year span I’ve had three back surgeries. The last surgery was a pretty serious surgery. I had a spinal fusion surgery done in November. It’s been less than three months, which is when the fusion really starts to take place and I am still struggling with getting used to not being able to do the things I used to be able to do on my own.

The point is that through all of these experiences I’ve lost a lot of who I am. I’m not saying I didn’t learn some life lesson from all the things I’ve gone through in the past four years. I still feel like I’ve lost parts of who I am, and like to try to get those back, and with some new experiences be a better person if not the best person I can be.

I set a goal this year to become healthy physical, but I’d like to become healthy physical, spiritually, emotionally, and very importantly to me socially. All of these are important to me because I’ve let myself lose touch with a lot of people that I really miss spending time with.

This year I’d like to try and get back in touch with some of my old friends and learn to meet new ones. I have social anxiety, but I don’t want to use that as a crutch anymore. I’d like to try new things this year and put myself in situations that would normally make me uncomfortable and anxious, and I think I have a friend or two who can help me with this. I want to go out, see concerts, visit museums, travel (even if it’s only a few hours away, try new foods and foods that I didn’t think I liked. Basically I want to start living. I’m 26 and I’m not getting any younger so I’m hoping some people can help me start this journey.

I used to read a lot and also write a lot. I have a journal full of poetry, short stories, prose, and overflowing with short stories. My goal Is to go back to reading daily, even if it’s just a few pages before I fall asleep. I’d also like to change up what I’m reading. I am a big fan of a lot of different kinds of fiction, but don’t read much more than that. I actually have started reading non-fiction, but I’d like to expand on what I read. I want to read more biographies and autobiographies, historical books, books on artists, scientists and politics. I believe that expanding my horizons in literature will help me to start writing again. Whether or not I’m reading I want to start writing everyday even if it’s just what I did that day and want to do the next, journaling my thoughts and dreams, or writing on here.

When it comes to emotional health I’ll keep it short. All of the things I’ve gone through have definitely worn on me and stressed me out, so I’m just going to go back to a therapist. I just need one who will challenge me and make me deal with my issues and learn to handle problems as they come.

Spiritually will be hard because I’m not sure exactly how to define it. I do know that I used to meditate and that would give me a sense of peace and well being. I think spirituality is different for everyone, I think volunteering and doing selfless things would make me feel likes better person and I’ll just figure it out on the way.

When it comes to physical health I’ve been doing very well. I planned to give up pop at start only eating healthy food. So far I have stuck with that I haven’t had any pop, junk food, fast foods, and empty calories in things like ketchup and other condiments. As far as exercise I walk almost every day and do physical therapy. This week I’m joining the gym at the YMCA and going as much as possible and seeing if others will go with me.

I still need to get my degree I was going for English, but I have so many credits for liberal arts so I’m just switching degrees to liberal arts so I can just graduate already. There is a Penn State campus close to where I live so I want to transfer there to finish my degree. My plan is to eventually get an apartment somewhere in the area.

I know this is a really ambitious list of things I want to do this year but, please forgive me for the cliche but Rome wasn’t built in a day and I’m sure to get to where I want to be it’ll take the rest of my life. I’m always going to be learning and changing but I just don’t want to waste any more time. I got a lot of living to do

Some fun things to pass the time.

As promised here is (almost) everything I bought pre-surgery as well as some things I already had.

Alright I think first of we should start with this awesome sweater,

I got that little bit of awesomeness from H&M for only 17.99! It has ravens on it and their wings extend to the sleeves.

Next another sweater,

It’s just a plain old black cardigan. I just love cardigans, I wish you could see the shirt under it a bit better it is adorable I’ve had it forever and bought it at Modcloth and the cardigan is just from Old Navy I bought it mostly cause it was on sale.

This next cardigan was also on sale at Old Navy at the time I bought it.

I’m not exactly crazy about the picture because it looks sort of baggy, (but hey I’m new at this taking pictures of clothes for blogs thing!) however it fits well and is really cute.
While I was there I also got some pj pants and yoga pants they were mostly black except this pair that had little stars on them.

To finish out my shopping trip(well the clothing part anyways) I bought a striped owl tote from you guessed it, Old Navy, as well as an assortment of cutesy socks.

Now for all the books and things I got at half-priced bookstore as well as what I brought with me to read.

George Carlin AM&FM. I haven’t had the chance to listen to this yet, but George is the man so I’m sure it’s good.

That is Déjà Vu by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, it has the songs ‘Woodstock’ by Joni Mitchell an ‘Helpless’ which has always been one of my favorite Neil Young songs.

And now the books these first two I bought along with the records.

That is the special edition Ghost World by Daniel Clowes, it is full of cool extras about the comic and the movie, like did you know R. Crumb’s daughter did the artwork for Enid’s sketchbooks then Daniel Clowes touched them up. It also came with the first draft of the script for the movie. And in case you didn’t know I love Ghost World and was Enid for Halloween.

This is 1Q84 by Haruki Murakami, I’m really looking forward to this because I absolutely loved Kafka on the Shore. It is set in Tokyo in 1984 and from description of it on amazon it sounded amazing.

This The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It’s just one of my favorite books, I first read all of his books last summer/fall and fell in love with them. This one is about two teenagers with cancer who meet at a support group and get to know each other and end up falling in love. It is YA, but it is beautiful, heartbreaking, and uplifting all at once.

This is Valley of The Dolls by Jacqueline Susan. It’s another that I’ve already read but it’s so trashy and over dramatic. I love it.

The copy of Glamour is two guilty pleasures in one; Lady Gaga and looking at ridiculously over priced clothes.
I got the Rolling Stone because I loved Lou Reed/The Velvet Underground. I haven’t read it at all yet, I’m hoping it’s good article written in a way Lou Reed would approve of.

And that is everything for now, but here is a picture of Alfonso helping me pack and a really awesome looking lollipop.

I also got some new makeup namely lip products.

That is from Makeup For Ever it is Rouge Artist Intense in pearly violet (#15). I had bought it a year before and remembered it being a little creamier, but it still goes on quite nicely and is a really fun and different color.

I also picked up the new Baby Lips Electro Lips lip balm from Maybelline in Berry Bomb. I love it! It is just a soft and smooth as their original line which I usually get in peach kiss. It does leave your lips nice and silky the more you use it. What I like about this one is that while the peach one did have a little sheen this one has a real berry tint to it without being too dark or dressy, plus if you are wearing the purple lipstick it makes for a good base.

I hope you enjoyed this post! Please feel free to leave me some recommendations, for books or movies to keep myself busy.

Also brought this book with me it’s really interesting.